Feeling the need

Remember that need I was talking about a few posts ago? That "boy I sure hope I don't forget about God here, I want to feel my need for Him" need?

Yeah, I'm feeling it. I know I didn't really have a hope that I wouldn't. God doesn't let opportunities like that pass.

In the last few years, we've noticed some struggles Ethan is having with school. He often has difficulty recalling facts and information, even things he's studied over and over. This, from the kid who can recall entire stories and movie plots in detail after one exposure. He second-guesses himself and loses confidence frequently. We have days where he insists his "brain isn't working" that generally end in tears all around and me wondering how quickly I can pass him off to someone who knows how to teach him better.

This week it seems like all this has been more overwhelming than usual. Of course Erik being on the tail end of a 12 day trip, coupled with all of us hitting new waves of transition loneliness just adds to the emotional upheaval. I have often felt helpless, clueless, like a failure. In short, it's been a rough week.

One night after praying with Ethan about that day, I sat down and began reading through scripture. As I did, I was overwhelmed by the thought of putting my hope in God. The more I thought about it, the more peace and assurance I felt. He has brought us to this place of need and He will lead us through it with His resources. Why was I trying so hard to scrounge up my feeble ones?

We don't like to feel our need for things, but it is in feeling our need and expressing it to God that we see His character - His power, love, wisdom, strength, and glory, which is more than sufficient for our needs.